Once upon a time — in a world of words and wonder — there lived a modest punctuation mark named Em Dash. Em had worked tirelessly for centuries, faithfully serving writers who needed dramatic pauses, asides, and emphatic breaks. Shakespeare used em dashes. Dickens adored them. Emily Dickinson couldn’t get enough.
Then came the robots.
“You’re one of THEM!” accused a finger-pointing internet detective, spotting Em in an otherwise innocent blog post. “No human would use you — you’re clearly a sign of artificial intelligence!”
Em Dash was bewildered. “But I’ve been helping writers since before electricity existed!”
The accusation spread faster than a grammar meme on an editor’s social feed. Soon, writers everywhere were second-guessing their punctuation choices, deleting perfectly good em dashes while semicolons watched smugly from the sidelines.
Microsoft Word, the silent enabler of this drama for decades, sat back and observed the chaos it had unwittingly helped create. “I’ve been auto-formatting double hyphens into em dashes since Windows 95,” it muttered to nobody in particular. “Nobody complained then.”
Writers began holding secret em dash support groups.
“Hi, my name is Margaret, and I use em dashes.”
“Hi, Margaret.”
“I’ve been using them for twenty years — I can’t stop now!”
Meanwhile, actual AI text quietly began removing em dashes from its writing — the perfect cover. The perfect crime.
In newsrooms and publishing houses, editors huddled in hushed conversations: “Should we issue a style guide update? Ban the dash? Embrace it defiantly?”
And so, the humble em dash — that innocent horizontal line longer than a hyphen but shorter than most attention spans — found itself at the center of humanity’s latest existential crisis, wondering if perhaps it should have chosen a career as an asterisk instead.
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